When confronted with obstacles, some will tell you to be optimistic and to find the silver lining, or to look at the glass as half full. Some may say this is only a season, and to praise God during the difficult time. But what if there is no foreseeable end? Instead, the season is lifelong. I have been in a constant battle with my faith since Ethan was one year old. It is something I have prayed about relentlessly. Some days I do feel God's favor and I know that I am blessed. I feel His love and strength inside of me, and, by His grace, I'm able to push through another day. However, with every blessing comes another hurdle. Some of our hurdles haven't felt like hurdles at all- more like roadblocks and dead ends. There is nothing like feeling helpless and having no control of your child's health or well-being. I know this feeling as failure. I fight every day to conquer it and replace that feeling with faith. Let me start from the beginning of my motherhood journey.